It’s a bit cold… hopefully my fingers won’t freeze ><
Consider for a moment chronic illness. I know I mentioned this last post but I think a more thorough investigation is in order.
It currently seems that I will be bipolar and on some sort of meds for the rest of my life. I didn’t really realize what this meant until yesterday. Like I said last post, it’s been 5 years… and it’ll be another 5 and another 5 and another 5… (assuming my meds don’t catch up with my liver…)
So what does this mean? It’s strange to think about. Chronic means until you die. I suppose then, I have a chronic illness, bipolar, and a terminal illness, existance.
It’s quite hard to process.
But this life is the only one we have on this earth. We don’t get a second shot free of illness and death.
I recently saw a video on youtube by AronRa talking about his granddaughter who died at three years of age.
Now I’m not asking you to compare that to your situation. I find all such comparisons useless in general. “Oh he has it worse” doesn’t mean anything really. You don’t have a choice between his life and your life.
Children in Africa born with AIDS have it “worse”.
But that doesn’t really matter when I consider my own situation. I must not dwell on the sufferings of others. I don’t mean to ignore them, if you have the ability to help in impoverished regions or donate to some charitable organizations please do.
However all the sick children in Africa do nothing for my bipolar.
We can compare all day long.
But that won’t help our condition. We must live our lives as best we can. We should enjoy all that we can and mitigate our symptoms when possible.
We can’t change our chronic illness.
But we still can live… even if this life is harder than it would be for someone without a chronic illness.
We have to live.
Living is a direct attack at bipolar itself.
“Oh, you want to bring me down? Well f—- you! I’m not going down! I’m going to do the best I can, regardless of what life throws my way. I may have limitations, but I will not define myself by them. There are some things I will never do, but that’s ok, there are lots of things I can do.”
Live while you can. Life is precious and short… sometimes far too short as for that three year old mentioned above. While we should not compare our situation to the girl or her family, we should live in memory that we may not last another day. If this is our last day on earth, fine. We will not go into that darkness thinking “If only I had not been bipolar” but rather “I lived. And that is all that matters”.